Well, I did it. I didn’t think this body could do it one more time, but it somehow managed to…and I love it. What is it? It’s a baby, and at almost 10 weeks has a beautifully strong heart beat. My first child, a daughter, was born 13 years ago in March. My second child, a son, was adopted 11 years ago this coming December (he’ll be 12 in October). I always said I had wanted to experience pregnancy one more time – with my eyes wide open, with my heart full of the knowledge I had from my previous experiences. 14 years later, my wish has come true with a supportive partner at my side, and my two loving children in full support of our choice. It feels incredible.
Spiritually, I feel alive more then I have in years. I still fully intend on completing my Druidry studies, but they have been temporarily been put on a back burner while I get plenty of rest and try to focus on getting everything in order. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, my hope is to make this more regular, perhaps weekly. I haven’t completely decided. What I have decided is that my post, for the most part, will be more positive, I may even let you in on my more goofy, geeky side. I may post more about my comic book addiction, my gaming yen, my desire to polish off my children’s stories, my poetry, maybe even finally finish that book I’ve put off for years. What I do know, is that I am anxious to share my journey, good or bad. I am anxious to sort through the twist of my life and be alive again.
For years I have down (though I don’t think that’s the right word to use). I believe partly that it was hormones and stress. The last month have seen both even out in ways I didn’t think could or would happen. I love it. Magical is seeing your baby that you carry within kicking and floating and being so alive that you, yourself, feel a vibrancy from within that you had forgotten existed.
I see unicorns again in my life. Unicorns, faeries, dragons – Magic. I see life, love and hope. Most of all – I see me and I, for one, and blown away by this. I know the next few months will be long. I have aches and pains where I’d forgotten I had parts, but I am ready for that, I think I always have been.