I was asked recently to describe my first magickal experience, and found that to my extreme disappointment I could not recall any one specific memory. I sat a long while and thought about it… waded hip deep in all kinds of wonderful memories, but I could not identify any of them as my first.
I have heard the stories of others many times, enjoyed the feelings and surprises along with them. I have been both enchanted and disappointed by them, but never as totally unhappy as I was when I discovered that I didn’t have a tale of my own.
Yes, I can remember my first forays into ceremonial magick, I remember learning to cast my first circle, and the thrill of excitement, followed by a jolt of disappointment when I realized that it wasn’t the experience I had been anticipating. I remember the first time I cast the circle right, and the elation, the tingling buzz long after I had closed it.
I remember my first Athame; as a matter of fact I still have it. The first time I consecrated and empowered it still shines brightly in the darkened skies of my mind.
I also remember the first wand I ever made. How proud I was when I finished and how comfortably I could use it. I remember looking all over for tips and advice so I would do everything just right.
All of these wonderful magickal experiences, and yet none of them my first.. In fact I can remember something special about nearly every single time I have ever stepped into the circle.. even more about the times when I didn’t.
My Grimoire is fairly teeming with stories of firsts, seconds and many afters.. I have been blessed with hundreds of beautiful and powerful events.
True, I may not recall my very first one.. but I know one thing is certain; it was followed by the best times of my life. Who could ask for more?
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